i dont have a sense of privacy. its an aspie thing.

ive had to learn the hard way about this whole “dont tell people stuff” thing that neurotypical people do. if it were up to me id just discuss everything freely, nbd. (and i mean everything.) but that tends to make NT ppl uncomfortable, to say the least.

theres a small set of facts about myself that ive learned the hard way it is not in my interest to share. if ive found a piece of info produces uniformly hostile or otherwise unpleasant reactions from ppl, that ill keep “private” out of self-interest.

theres also a few categories of info about those close to me that ive learned- again, the hard way- that it is not in my interest to share. if sharing a type of info about a person close to me produces uniformly hostile reactions from that person, then again ill keep the info “private” out of self-interest.

i think- i literally don’t know, im hypothesizing- i think theres this basic “oh What Will Ppl Think?!” question that a desire for privacy hangs on. as an aspie i dont get that feeling- ever.

im not able to see into other ppl’s minds like a neurotypical person can. i have no native sense of what another person is thinking. theyre all black boxes to me. ive learned to model their behavior, but im modeling inputs to outputs, not what’s on their mind. i cant see that.

so i have no basis for caring what people will think. maybe they’ll form super negative opinions about me, knowing this. maybe they’ll assign me an unwanted negative identity, knowing this. maybe they’ll treat me badly in the future, knowing this. all of these are possible- but b/c i cant see into their mind, i cant care about those eventualities. i dont have a basis for even knowing whether theyve happened. it cant bother me.

if someone explicitly flags info they give me as “top secret”, then i do okay keeping it to myself, but not great, and it costs me a lot of cognitive energy. if im not explicitly told its a secret, and it doesnt fit into one of a few broad categories flagged “everyone wants this stuff kept secret”, i have a hard time keeping other ppl’s secrets.

i have no intuition for what others wouldnt want anyone to know, since “i wouldnt want anyone to know this” is a thought pattern i dont have. though i can do it if i know im supposed to and i try real hard, my answer to “can you keep a secret?” is “no.” the fewer of these alien data types i need to sustain, the better.